T-shirts coming soon.
Posted on Friday, September 30, 2005 at 12:18 pm
As posted in the forums, I’ve been thinking (yet again) about doing t-shirts for the site as some sort of support mechanism. I’ve now created an account with Spreadshirt and will be getting my store set up shortly. It’ll take a couple days for their design people to approve my Illustrator files, but after that I’ll open up the store and you can all start buying my stuff! Won’t that be fun?
Anyhoo, since I love you all so very much, I thought I’d show you all the designs I’ve got so far. These are exported straight from Illustrator. And remember, thanks to the magic of Spreadshirt, you basically get to put these designs on any color shirt, with any color ink you want. How great is that?!
One day I was watching Punk’d, and they were talking about Ja Rule and his posse, and I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be great if I had a posse? So I got out a blue Sharpie and wrote “I’m in Jamin’s Posse” on one of my white t-shirts and wore it to school. It got lots of laughs. So I figured, since I’m gonna do t-shirts anyway, I may as well throw this up there and see if anyone likes it.
And the other three are all Scourge shirts…
Lemme know how you like them, which one’s your favorite, blah blah blah.
10 Comments
Response.
Posted on Saturday, September 24, 2005 at 4:51 pm
So there’s this person that posted some pretty… well… “interesting” stuff on the forums, and I think it’s only fair to offer my response. My responses/interpretations/mockeries are shown in italics, while the original post itself is bolded. Apparently, because I’m such a lousy coder, that’s all I can manage to code correctly. Or something. Enjoy.
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Whoever taught you how to code should be expelled, because you suck, and im not talking about the little boys balls you lick in the school yard, Im talking about your pathetic lack of scripting skills.
Getting off to a lovely start. I recall from my days in debate class in High School that it’s always right and proper to insult your opponent’s sexuality and masculinity from the start. Said masculinity insult, in this case, apparently takes the form of my coding experience. By the way… just to get this off from the start… see that little key just to the left of the Enter key on your keyboard? It’s called an “apostrophe.” Say it with me now… “A…POS…TRO…PHE.” Is it really that hard of a concept? It’s typically used in contractions as a substitute for other letters or characters. In this particular instance, it would be used in “I’m” as a substitute for the phrase “I am.”
I cant even imagine how you ended up with such a gay name like Jamin??, I mean duh what a dumb fuck you are, my guess is your embarrased your real name.
Well, I probably ended up with my name in exactly the same manner that you ended up with your name. That is, when I squirmed my bloody way out of my mother’s vagina at birth, she and my father told the hospital nurse, “His name is Jamin.” Subsequently, “Jamin” was written on my birth certificate. I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s usually how those things happen. I could be wrong – and if I am, please correct me. It’s been awhile since I was born, so perhaps they’ve altered the process slightly since then.
When my brother asked me to remove the copyright and the gay ninja function() from your dumb poorly written game I said no, until I realized how ignorant by immature retard you are, then I agreed to do it, and the little bugger sold it under a even stupider name “the passage”
OH MY GOD! You successfully removed THREE LINES (or, EIGHTY-NINE BYTES!!!) from a script. Honestly, it never occurred to me that people wouldn’t find a bit of humor in the function in question and would want it removed. Well, pat yourself on the back. Your coding skills are so far superior to mine that I am simply amazed and shocked.
Another thing Jamin you fucking asshole, why do you pretend your married? hell look in the mirror and how ugly you are and tell yourself that, thats fucking groose, if you are that explains why theres no pics, because shes a fat disgusting desperate mammoth hog that you would need a widescreen lense just to get her in.
As you’ll note, I posted a picture from our wedding reception as a reply to the thread where you posted. I believe that picture should speak for itself in terms of a reply specific to this paragraph. If you take a close look at the picture, there’s a little ring on the appropriate finger, which means I’m not actually pretending to be married. Plus, she’s about good looking. I’m not sure where you got your “fat disgusting desparate mammoth hog” information. Perhaps you’ve been watching Ice Age too much recently, eh? Ray Romano did play a pretty good desparate mammoth. Also, I’ve never made any claims regarding my own handsomeness or lack thereof. So you telling me that I’m ugly really isn’t going to phase me very much. I, quite frankly, don’t give a damn what other people think of how I look. People who judge others solely on their outside appearance are typically shallow and superficial, and they’re not the type of people I would like to be associated with.
Jammin you need to get a dam life, learn how to script expecially using SQL and your functions, This whole program is a disgrace, Ill give you a tip shit for brains, when I modified it so he could sell it , I converted to a flatfile for compatibility with those that have no SQL and guess what fag boy? it was actually faster, anyways you dumb fuck, go fuck yourself for 1, then learn how to script, show respect to your users, and for God Sake take a shower, you sick fucking grosse faggy looking queer I can smell your dick breath from here.
Jamin. Damn. Especially. I’ll. Gross. I’m pretty sure that takes care of all the spelling errors. I’m not even going to try to add enough comments to make the run-on sentences make any sense. However, in response to the message presented here, I’ll offer the following. It’s quite possible that, in this particular application, flatfile data storage may be marginally faster than MySQL access. Show me proof, and I’ll gladly concede this point to you regarding this one particular instance. However, flatfiles are still generally frowned upon because they take up more processing resources to open and search. This is why most reputable hosts have all but banned flatfile forum software (such as UBB.classic and YaBB). Flatfile data storage is very unscalable. When the data store is small, it’s perfectly fine. But when you start getting thousands of users and thousands of documents and large numbers of simultaneous accesses, it quickly overloads the processing capabilities of the server. This, in and of itself, speaks to me about the popularity of your flatfile implementation. If it is indeed faster than the default MySQL version, you cannot have very many users or simultaneous connections, unless you’re running it on a Cray box or something. Also, MySQL currently boasts more than 6 million active installations. Any reputable host offers it as a standard part of any hosting package. If your constituents don’t have access to MySQL, perhaps they should consider getting a real host instead of trying to run games from Geocities, Tripod or their own IIS5 installation.
Kendra A(ya me shit for brains) remember me, well you fucked with the wrong girl asshole.
No, as a matter of fact, I don’t remember you. Nor, to the best of my knowledge, do I have shit for brains. I mean, I suppose it’s possible. I haven’t gotten in there and looked around lately. But the doctor said I passed my last physical with flying colors except for the whole smoking thing, and I’m guessing he would have noticed if I did indeed have shit for brains. Also, please inform me as to the specifics regarding exactly how I “fucked with your asshole.” Are you one of those kinds of girls that lets guys fuck your girl asshole? And, if so, which one is the wrong one? I’ll know to avoid it in the future.
Now, please allow me to demonstrate exactly how immature and juvenile my sense of humor is, by quoting one of my favorite movies of all time: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we’re gonna make ‘em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made ‘em eat. Then you’re all fucking next.
Love,
Jay and Silent Bob
I look forward to your reply. I do have one request, though: run it through a decent spellchecker first. It’s about damn hard to figure out what you’re trying to say when I have to insert my own commas and apostrophes all over the place. Plzktnx.
Sincerely,
Jamin
10 Comments
Site news.
Posted on Friday, September 23, 2005 at 12:36 pm
First off, provided you haven’t manually changed your WP Theme in the past, you’ll notice I’ve updated the default theme to my newly-designed Reset CF (which stands for Carbon Fiber). If you don’t like it, you’re more than welcome to use any of the other four themes listed at the bottom of the sidebar. Or, if you already changed your theme previously, you can select the new one from the same list. Similarly, I’ve updated the default theme on the forums to the same style. If you don’t like it, you can switch back to Reset Fragile (the only other theme available on the forums) by going to My Home > Display Preferences.
Secondly, I got an email from WP today saying that a comment needed moderating, and I realized that my site was apparently becoming a clearinghouse for website comment spam. One of the old posts had over 50 spam comments. This is a normal thing for blogs. Basically, a robot program finds old blog posts that are unlikely to be noticed and posts website links as comments. People don’t necessarily see them, but Google still finds and indexes the link. To combat this, I’ve added your standard issue “captcha” protection to comment posting, which requires you to type in text from an image that is (theoretically) only readable by humans. Note that in some cases, I’ve noticed that the wave filter it applies to the image actually works too well, because even I have a hard time reading the text. If this happens to you, simply reload the page and try again. It’s an unfortunate side effect of anti-spam protection, but it’s a necessary precaution. Lord knows I don’t want my blog to be part of the problem of “V1agr4-f0r-l3ss!!!!” website proliferation.
Ok, that’s all. Back to your regularly scheduled worthless life. :-p
1 Comment
How to run your own server – Part 3
Posted on Wednesday, September 21, 2005 at 1:28 pm
Introduction
As in the previous episodes, I’ve used green & bold to indicate stuff you should search for in your text editor, and I’ve used red & bold to indicate stuff you should be typing and/or copying into the file. So whenever you see those colors, it’s probably important and you should think about reading the stuff instead of just skimming over it.
Note that this is Part 3 of the tutorial series, and deals with getting MySQL up and running. Technically, MySQL can stand alone and do its thing independently of any web server, but in order to get the most out of it, you should probably already have Apache and PHP set up. So if you haven’t already done so, you absolutely need to read and follow the instructions in Part 1 and Part 2 before continuing.
Installing MySQL
This is definitely the easiest part of the whole ordeal. In the first place, MySQL is actually a standalone product that can run without any other web server system in place. You don’t really need Apache or PHP to use MySQL. However, we’re just going to assume that you’re probably doing this whole thing because you want to have a place to test out your new blog script or something, in which case you still do need the other elements of a good WAMP setup. See how I used a little nerd lingo there? WAMP is an acronym which means “Windows + Apache + MySQL + PHP” (or, if you’re an even bigger geek, you can substitute/add “Perl” or “Python” for “PHP”). But we’re not going to be dealing with Perl or Python here, because it’s just not worth it. Yeah, that’s right, Perl geeks. I went there. What of it? Go obfuscate some code and masturbate to pictures of Captain Janeway in your parents’ basement while you cry over my failure to include your precious language in my tutorial series.
But… um… yeah. On with the show!
Go to http://dev.mysql.com/downloads/mysql/4.1.html to download the latest MySQL package. Windows versions are listed about halfway down the page. You’ll want to download the “Windows Essentials (x86)” package, which should be about 16mb. Once you’ve located this, click the Pick A Mirror link, find a mirror close to you (after you skip the optional registration page) and download away.
Run the file once it’s downloaded. Choose the Custom option when it presents you with a list of install types, and hit Next. Ensure that the top list item (”MySQL Server”) is selected and click the Change button at the bottom and put c:\server\MySQL as the path. Hit Ok, then Next, then Install. Skip the Sign Up thing when it comes up, then make sure that the Configure option is checked and hit Finish.
This will bring up another install-type dialog, where you’ll want to select Reconfigure Instance and hit Next. In the next box, select Standard Configuration, then click Next. Ensure that “Install as Windows Service” is checked, and hit Next again. Now you want to check the box that says “Modify Security Settings.” Leave the first box (”Current root password”) blank, and type your new password in each of the remaining two boxes. Leave the “Enable root access from remote machines” and “Create An Anonymous Account” boxes unchecked. If you do check those boxes, Nazis will come and rape your sister. It’s a proven fact. Click Next, then click Execute. Let it do its thing, and the box will disappear.
Shirrah, shirrah. Now you’re done. You’ve successfully installed and configured your very own web server. Now, you really can go grab yourself a beer. If you have a wife or girlfriend, be sure to notify her of your technological conquests, because it’ll probably get you laid. If you don’t have a wife or a girlfriend, well, sorry, but you’re just a loser and nobody likes you. You’re going to die alone. But at least you’ll die secure in the knowledge that you can install a web server. That’s gotta count for something, right?
Final Thoughts
There are now a few other things you can do, if you still want to play around.
If you’re really intent on getting Perl to work, ActiveState has a great Perl client for Windows. It’s been a really long time since I’ve ever installed Perl on my server, so I don’t honestly remember if it requires any altering of the Apache configuration file or not. But maybe you’ll get lucky and it’ll just work on the first time.
For effective database administration, you’ll definitely need a good MySQL frontend client. phpMyAdmin is an awesome browser-based client that I use for pretty much everything.
And remember that password you entered when you were doing the MySQL configuration. Whenever you download and install a new script, it will typically include a file called config.php, or config.inc.php, or something along those lines. You’ll have to put your MySQL connection information in that file before your script will work. Typically, it’ll ask you for four things: server, username, password, and database name. Server should always be localhost, username should be root, and password should be whatever you entered into those boxes. Then you’ll use phpMyAdmin or whatever other frontend program you choose to create a new database, and put that down where it asks you for the database name.
Finally, ResourceIndex and Hot Scripts are great places to get programs and scripts for pretty much anything you want to do. So check them out.
Thanks for following the tutorial. Enjoy your new server.
2 Comments
Part 3 coming soon.
Posted on Friday, September 16, 2005 at 7:41 am
Hey all. I’m going out of town this weekend (by which I mean, I’m leaving as soon as my wife puts her face on). So the next part of the server tutorial will come when I get back, probably. Until then, feel free to play this awesome “port” of Super Mario Bros. written entirely in Javascript. It’s in Japanese, I think, but it’s Super Mario, so I’m sure you all know how to play it already. Fun stuff.
