Posted on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 at 10:56 am
Yes, that’s right. I’m a heretic. While the original Playstation had no appeal to me, the release of the PS2 changed all that and placed me firmly in Sony’s camp. While the PS2 is underpowered compared to an Xbox, I still liked it. I like its controllers much better than Xbox’s, and at least it’s not the size of a fucking cinder block.
But I am now a heretic. (And, as my wife has now kindly suggested, a hypocrite.)I have officially placed the Xbox 360 on my Christmas list.
I do have a couple reasons for justifying this, though.
First, I’m not really sure if I’ll actually get one due to the terrible availability of the console. Honestly, you’d think with all the hype Microsoft had surrounding this (including the 2-hour televised launch party), they would have at least MADE IT AVAILABLE!!! Instead, it seems to me that the Playstation 3 will be out and available before anyone can actually *obtain* the 360. I think they just wanted to say “ours was out first!” without any regard to whether people could actually get one or not. It really reminds me of nVidia’s and ATI’s “paper launches.”
And second, my Playstation 2 is starting to die, mostly due to the fact that it’s been in dusty-ass Abilene for 2 years and I’ve never gotten the damn thing opened up and cleaned. It has troubles getting through entire movies now without skipping and losing the DVD laser altogether. It also sometimes fails to load games at all, and I have to reset it or pop the disc out several times before it will actually load. And I’ve done enough research to know that this isn’t related to the DVD problem that plagued the first PS2s. I’ve checked the hardware version and it should be fine. I think it’s just getting old.
Now, I still firmly believe that PS3 will beat the snot out of the 360 in terms of hardware. And provided I have the available funds when it comes out, I’ll probably be buying one of those too. But for now, here’s hoping I get the 360, even if it does make me a heretic.
Posted on Monday, November 28, 2005 at 9:08 pm
At one point earlier tonight, I’d written about half of some touchy-feely nostalgic blog post looking back at the last four and a half years of my life, as my college finally career comes to a close (twelve hours of classes, then three final exams, and I’m gone forever!!!). But then I decided, “oh, wait, I’m not gay.”
So with that in mind, here is my revised “hey look, I’m done with college” post. Less touchy-feely, more in-your-face attitude. Less nostalgia, more ass kickery. Less champagne, more Budweiser. You get the idea.
(Also, I’ve noticed that for some reason I’m really into “list” posts lately. So I promise after this I won’t do another one for awhile, and I’ll go back into actual content-based posts.)
Things I learned in college.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker.
Beer before Everclear, you’re going to the frickin’ hospital to have your stomach pumped.
If you want to be a programmer, but hate math, major in something other than Computer Science. For one, CS nerds are lame; and for two, school isn’t really going to teach you much about programming that you don’t already know or can’t learn on your own if you buy a couple O’Reilly books. Also, did I mention how lame CS nerds are? Seriously. This one guy actually wore (and seemed proud of) a rattail haircut. Those things weren’t cool in the 80s, and they’re definitely not cool now!
Girls in the English department are more likely to have crushes on their teachers than girls in any other department. I believe this is due to two reasons: first, girls in the English department as a rule seem to be pretty unfortunate looking and may have a hard time finding guys their own age willing to hook up with them; and second, the English department seems to attract young, idealistic male teachers with shiny new PhD certificates on their wall, thus giving the lonely college girls something to look at during class.
As long as you live on campus, you can literally crawl out of bed 10 minutes before your class starts and still make it to class without causing too much of a disturbance. This may be easier because I’m a guy and don’t necessarily have to go through the barrage of primping and preening that girls seem to think is necessary… but if you’re desparate, you can manage it.
Bribing teachers with candy bars and/or caffeinated beverages is a totally acceptable way of increasing your “partitipation points.” Note: if you go to a secular school, this probably also works with beer and/or nice cigars… but alas, I’ve never been able to test this theory out.
Until you’re in your last semester and have already taken all the classes where you’ll actually use the on-campus computer labs, these computer labs will be stocked with pathetically underpowered machines that can only be considered “adequate” for the work you’ll be doing on them in a strictly survivalist sense of the word. Of course, once you’ve only got 4 months till graduation and no more use whatsoever for the on-campus labs, they’ll spring for a whole fleet of brand new G5 towers that are nice enough to almost make you want to re-take one of your video editing classes just so you can breeze through Adobe Premier on a computer that’s actually got a pair.
All-nighters are far easier to get through if you’re staying up all night because of a party, and not because of studying. Also, if you do have to stay up late studying, once you’ve stayed up till 4am you may as well not even try to go to sleep at all. Just grab another Red Bull and keep going all night, because falling asleep now will only make getting up in the morning that much more painful.
Ok, that’s all for now. I may add more later, but I think that should do it for awhile.
Posted on Thursday, November 24, 2005 at 12:38 pm
My wife and the rest of my family.
My wildly successful online game business, which is currently not netting me over $15,000 per month in license fees.
The ease with which I fell into my new job, which I’ll start on January 9, thus saving me the pain and torment of actually sending out résumé’s and having to go through that annoying-ass “finding a job” process. God bless “right place, right time.”
My kick-ass new apartment, that I’ll be moving into on January 3.
The fact that I now have exactly two weeks left of school… ever!
My mutant turkey, now cooking in the oven, which came with two necks for some ungodly reason. I bet it’s bird flu.
Bird flu. What better way to thin out those overpopulated Chinese people than with a little incurable H5N1? (I’m so going to hell!)
The PHP manual, without which I could never have started my wildly successful online game business, which is still not netting me over $15,000 per month in license fees.
Mountain Dew , coffee, and all other drinks with potentially lethal amounts of caffeine.
Sony’s rootkit. I know they were trying to be assholes and keep people from listening to music, but thanks to the public backlash, Sony may very well have single-handedly destroyed all chances of any music provider ever using DRM again. And everyone should be thankful for that.
And finally, I’m thankful for you, the reader. All six of you. I AM TEH WINNAR!!!!111!
Posted on Monday, November 14, 2005 at 9:45 pm
As of this moment, I am officially declaring myself the sovereign ruler and undisputed emperor of the letter ‘K.’ I have no apparent reason for doing this, other than being clinically insane. But that’s the way it goes. From this point forward, everyone should address me as “Jamin, Lord of the Letter K and Undisputed Sovereign Ruler Thereof.” Anyone not addressing me as such will be found guilty of treason and summarily executed by the only legal method in my country: being dropped out of a hot air balloon that’s about 500 feet off the ground into a gigantic vat of microwaved maple syrup.
For my first act as Lord of the Letter K and Undisputed Sovereign Ruler Thereof (henceforth abbreviated as “F.U.C.K.” for no reason other than I feel like being vulgar), I hereby declare and decree that the following rules shall apply to anyone within the limits of my country:
One: Nike shall no longer make shoes or actual tangible products of any kind, and will instead go back to doing what they do best: making really artistic commercials.
Two: The word “scuzzlewug” is now an appropriate and encouraged substitute for the word “of” in all possible instances.
Three: Trespassers will be shot on site. Survivors will be shot again. Further survivors will continue to be shot until they are indeed dead. If someone manages to survive an entire box scuzzlewug ammunition, they will be dropped out scuzzlewug a hot air balloon that’s about 500 feet off the ground into a gigantic vat scuzzlewug microwaved maple syrup, with a stern warning that they should die, dammit!
Four: Cats are illegal. If anyone finds any cat, anywhere, it should be sent to the nearest Thai restaurant for… um… “processing.”
Five: Black is the new Pink.
Six: The national bird is a half-eaten box scuzzlewug Twinkies.
Seven: No fatties.
Thank you, that is all.
Posted on Saturday, November 12, 2005 at 2:18 pm
We filled out a lot of paperwork for moving into a new apartment in Allen, TX yesterday, in preparation for that whole “me getting a job” thing. As long as the credit check and criminal background check come out OK (read: as long as no one’s found out about all those hookers I killed), we’ll be signing the lease papers and moving in on January 3.
With that in mind, here is my list of 20 reasons why this apartment kicks all kinds of ass.
1. An entertainment center is built into the wall.
2. 300 square feet more than my current apartment.
3. It’s about sixteen seconds away from the office where I will be working.
4. It’s about twelve seconds away from a Chipotle. God bless America.
5. It comes with a washer and dryer, which means we don’t have to buy one ourselves, which means Jamin gets to buy his new computer that much sooner!
6. There’s a putting green on the property.
7. It’s gated, so theoretically there won’t be any crazy whackjob drunkard losers harassing us at 2 in the morning wanting beer. (Sorry, buddy, I fuckin’ drank it all already!)
8. We get 6 free hours with the on-site massage therapist. I personally find massage therapy rather disturbing, but I guess the wimminz will like it.
9. There’s a free on-site car wash facility.
10. There are ceiling fans in every room.
11. Did I mention that it was about twelve seconds away from a Chipotle?
12. No, seriously. I’m not kidding. TWELVE SECONDS!!!
13. It has a built-in alarm system.
14. The closets are almost as big as my bedroom now.
15. The bathrooms are almost as big as my bedroom now.
16. It… um… well… ok, so, maybe shooting for a 20 item list was aiming a little high. But yeah… it’s a really sweet apartment. It costs a buttload of money, but I guess it comes with the territory. Everyone go away now, I have work to do!
QUICK! TO THE WEENIE-MOBILE!!! WEENIE-MAN AWAY!!!!