se7enet purgatorio

They could have at least given me some lube.

Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 at 11:37 am

Oh yeah. Speaking of those Coheed and Cambria tickets… I would like to add this to the list of 170,000+ reports that Ticketmaster sucks.

My tickets have a face value of $31.50 apiece. Multiplied by two, this results in a total face value of $63.

Ticketmaster charged my credit card for $86.88.

The charges broke down as follows:
Tickets: $31.50 x 2
Convenience Charge: $7.70 x 2
Additional Tax: $1.28
Order Processing Charge: $4.50
ticketFast: $2.70

So, on top of the actual ticket price, there’s the ubiquitous “convenience charge.” This, apparently, doesn’t include the “order processing charge,” which is also extra. The “additional tax” I can understand – if it is indeed actual government-mandated tax, and not something Ticketmaster is making up to add just that much more to the amount of money they can pull out of you. And regarding that convenience charge, Ticketmaster’s virtual monopoly on all live entertainment allows them to charge pretty much whatever they want to. And “whatever they want” appears to be a completely arbitrary number depending on some crazy formula that only they know. Judging from that guy’s convenience charges, Coheed and Cambria is better than Henry Rollins ($6.75), but not better than Merle Haggard ($8.25).

And we haven’t even gotten to the best part. They charged me an additional $2.70 for “ticketFast.” And what is this fabled ticketFast? Why, they email you a PDF of your tickets, and you print them out, WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING PAPER AND INK!!! It’s a completely automated process, with (I’m guessing) absolutely zero human intervention at all. The computer generates the PDF and emails it to you. They probably don’t even have to pay some illegal immigrant who can’t even speak English less than minimum wage to oversee this process. It’s a computer doing all the work, and somehow their computer’s valuable time is worth an additional $2.70 on top of what you already paid. In my estimation, not only should this service be included in their “convenience charge,” as it represents the ultimate in convenience, but it should also completely defeat the purpose of the “order processing charge,” as no human has ever even briefly thought about actually doing anything to process your order. Theoretically, it would take a human to stuff envelopes with tickets and drop them in the mail, in which case maybe some minimal order processing fee would be understandable. But no. They’re charging you to do all the work your own goddamn self.

All total, Ticketmaster’s ridiculous extra fees amounted to 37.9% of the total charge to my credit card. Well over a third of the money I spent was an arbitrary amount assigned by Ticketmaster because they have exclusive contracts with venues and promoters and because their CEO really really needs to buy that fifth Bentley.

I hate Ticketmaster with every fiber of my being. It’s really a pity that you really can’t go to any concert at all unless you’re willing to bend over and let them drive it home.

1 Comment »

Comment by ralph — February 23, 2006 @ 8:00 pm

ticketfast sucks balls. I have heard of people on Ebay selling copies of copies of copies of ticketfast tickets to NIN shows… and lo–no workie… make sure you actually buy them yourself and NEVER on Ebay

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